The essential can’t be done for you
If it can only be done by you, for yourself, it is essential.
For the sake of this piece, only the things that can be done by you make the cut. If your action don’t have an effect on you and whatever situation you face, that’s a cue that you aren’t focusing on the essential part. For it to work, no one can else do it for you.
No one can breathe on your behalf.
No one can digest your meals for you.
Neither can anyone sow beliefs into your heart on your behalf, without your involvement.
No one can find joy for you. No one can rewrite your reality on your behalf.
No one can make you believe a story about yourself and the world, if you don’t want to.
Deciding what gets planted in your heart and mind is essential.
So is filling your mind with wisdom, not just information. With understanding, not just facts.
No one can force you to form an opinion. Neither can anyone make you believe one.
No one can make you build a healthy relationship with yourself. They can guide or serve as figureheads. They can show you what's possible.
But when it's time to love yourself, to forgive yourself, to adore yourself and respect yourself, no one can do those for you.
No one can make you feel deserving of the best life can offer. No one can make you feel not deserving too. Only you can.
No one can convince you of how much you are better than your weakest moments, how your biggest moments and achievements don’t define you, and how you can still move forward inspite and because of those moments.
No one can be your biggest cheerleader or your greatest critic except anyone you designate those roles to. Often, that person stares back in the mirror.
No one can rile you up without your involvement. No one can make you exercise anger, envy or resentment if you choose not to.
Yes, anyone can verbally come at you. Anyone can say words you don’t agree with. No one can make you deal with those words if you don’t want to.
Anyone can match-make for you. No one can be in love on your behalf.
No one can nurture your trust in love, your embrace of acceptance, your walk in kindness. No one can find and experience rest for you. Neither can they sleep on your behalf.
Only you can take responsibility for your affairs. Everyone else can only try to be helpful.
No one can choose what kind of life you should live. They can set the scene, put incentives in place, and tell stories to make you choose.
But the act of deciding who to be in the world? The choice of living the way you believe is just? That’s on you.
It is easy to get busy with many things to do. The core thing to remember is what’s essentially yours to do.