Upset people gently

I read this beautiful sentence some weeks ago.

“People are people—carbon and water. As such, we resist change. It’s important to recognize that managing change is about upsetting people only at a rate that they can tolerate. It’s all about physics. For change, there must be movement. With movement, there is friction.”

The core of the work is here: upsetting people only at a rate that they can tolerate. Bringing positive tension into the room in ways that help people grow.

Growth happens when friction is embraced. When we look the tension in the eye and say ‘I see you, and welcome you. What else have you got?’

It’s not an easy process. We can get lots of things wrong.

But we are guaranteed to get things right when we find the right equilibrium.

We owe it to those we love to gently upset their tolerance for friction. To nudge them kindly towards the higher threshold of what they can be.